📝 Of Donuts and Aliens
Spoiler warning for Project Hail Mary!
I was driving around in Forza Japan one evening when a random person tried to communicate with me... and it was at the same time that, in the book Project Hail Mary, Dr. Grace discovers Rocky. In much the same way that Dr Grace was confused and surprised by the attempt to communicate in a very constrained way, so was I with this random stranger. This person started doing donuts in front of me, clearly trying to signal something. Then would drive off and, as far as I could tell, wait for me to follow. So I did. We followed each other around on the map. Jumping off ramps. Doing donuts. It was so dumb. But it was so fun. Sometimes sending random pretexts like "perfection" or "nice to meet you." Very constrained text trying to pass off a vibe, a feeling, an idea. And movement. Movement was also a way to communicate. "Drive away, wait" became "follow me". Doing donuts was our way of saying "woohoo, this is fun!" But the thing is…I have no idea, really, do I? I mean, I THINK that's what it meant. It's what it meant for me. But what if this stranger didn't want me following them around at all? What if they were saying "STOP" and I didn't get it? I just naively thought we all wanted to connect, communicate, and share this moment. Dr. Grace and Rocky teach each other their languages and come up with English words for each other's words. But sometimes I wondered how you really knew if that was actually what Rocky was trying to say. Everything is an interpretation. The way we experience our world is all one interpretation, a personal interpretation.
What I love about Rocky and Ryland's relationship is that they respect each other. They adapt to each other. Neither tries to force their culture on the other. They see the strengths of each planet, and they use them to their advantage. They don't think one is more than the other. Together, they're stronger, smarter, and more capable of saving BOTH their planets.
With Rocky and Ryland, there is no assumption that they understand each other, unlike me and my Forza stranger (we both come from planet Earth… I think? Maybe Rocky has an Xbox up in Rockyland). Rocky and Ryland build their understanding from scratch, verifying everything, correcting mistakes. It's slow, careful, and earned. And even then… do we really know what Rocky was trying to say? Even the most careful communication is still interpretation. The Forza stranger and I had none of that slow scaffolding. We had donuts, ramps, and "perfection 👍". And yet, I still felt a connection (clearly enough to write a damn thing about it). I still felt joy. And probably because of the constraint of not being able to voice or actually text chat.
I keep thinking there was a message hidden underneath everything. That the donuts meant something. That waiting by the side of the road meant something. That if only I could translate it properly, I would know whether the stranger and I were on the same page (the page of having fun together). It made me wonder whether the waiting and shared experiences, like donuts and ramps, were actually a form of play, even if I couldn't quite translate what we were feeling. And yet…I don't know. Maybe I'm just doing what I've been doing this entire essay: taking a series of events and constructing a story that feels true, making meaning out of things. But isn't that just what we humans do? The thing is… does it even matter whether I understand the Forza stranger correctly? Because honestly, whatever happened that evening, I came away feeling like I'd connected with another person. And maybe that's enough.
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